Butte’s Piss & Moan Runners present…
The Whiner Award for the most professional (cry baby) pissin’ & moaning about nothing.
Whiners beware. This award could soon belong to you.
The award has a long and inglorious history that is tightly bound to the origin of Butte’s Piss & Moan Runners.
Since 1994, Bruce “Red Dog” Robinson and the other founding Piss & Moaners have met for morning coffee at Perkins Family Restaurant, and the late John “Wulfman” Wulf was among that group. One morning over coffee in 1996, Wulfman complained incessantly about his previous day’s run with Bruce, and Wulf’s rash of negative comments inspired Bruce to formulate his fateful and now legendary plan. Bruce decided to tease the whining out of Wulf by presenting him with a tampon during the next morning’s coffee.
Wulf lovingly embraced the tampon and the idea behind it. He took the tampon home and taped it to the manila folder on which he began penning other runners’ objections and excuses.
The tampon trophy eventually started being awarded to the club’s other whiners. And it is still circulating, but with a few added odds and ends collected over the years.
The award even developed rules of engagement … your whine must be witnessed by at least two other people, and once you ‘win’ the award, you must keep and protect it until you award it to someone else.
Current and past award winning whines:
“My chip time was a prime number and the gun time was not … But 3:23:19? Beautiful prime numbers – I couldn’t have done better if I had tried. And they publish 3:24:35 – a travesty.” – Michele Bazzanella, 21 July ‘14
“It’s too wet out for me.” – Gary Hoar, July ‘14
| Special guest whiners’ awards given to 3 members of the Montana Cup Committee after their July 7th tour of Butte’s planned MT Cup cross country race course at Grant-Kohrs Ranch. At the time of the tour, the course was flood-irigated, and the grass hay stood nipple-height, ready for harvest.
“I have some concerns about the course… I am afraid we will have to take Team Helena back home in a big blue bus and two ambulances.” — Jeff Thomas, Helena “If we did see the course the biggest issue I see is the weeds. I still have bugs in my leg hair. I can’t have people walk off the bus and hang around in the weeds for an entire day … I would like to have – if possible – a place that won’t have everybody up to their armpits in weeds and a place that can be warm and/or at least dry for the time when we aren’t running.” — Andy Tucknot, Missoula “…the condition of the grassy portions of the course … render those stretches really unsuitable for racing (I too went down actually [like Ray], but was saved embarrassment merely due to my position at the back of the pack — 40% of us crashing while jogging the course isn’t a good sign). The threat of twisted ankles, broken legs, etc. struck me as very high…” — Patrick Judge, Helena |
“I cant believe I just got beat by a pregnant lady!” – Tim Near, 17 July ‘12
“Don’t start on me. I’m working on no sleep.” – Bruce Robinson, 19 June ‘12, in response to the statement “You don’t have your running clothes on.”
“Can you believe the sh!t she talked me into?” – Amber Wood-Jensen, 24 April ‘12
“My balls are frozen and I don’t even have any!” – Angie Welles, 7 April ‘12. Being forewarned about snow, Angie still insisting on running through Durant Canyon. There was ancle-deep fresh snow there and the last long stretch was into a strong headwind. Afterward, Angie whined liberally, but many of her whines were too profane to exhibit publicly. The whine posted here was her ‘cleanest.’)
“I hate running on the grass.” – Susan Kaluza, 16 Dec ‘11
“It’s cold out here.” – Angie Welles, 16 Dec ‘11
“worst 10k ive ever ran 🙁 …SORE!” – Ashley Choquette, 13 August ‘11 successive Facebook posts re An Ri Ra run.
“Now I hate to break this to you, but as much as I like to declare with pride that we’ve not run a single workout on the track, I’m discovering that there are some runners itching to test their speed on that ‘evil oval’. We haven’t confirmed next week’s workout yet, but fair warning – we may be running in circles. If you’re looking for a workout where you get to chase your tail, then we hope you’ll join us.” – Michele Bazzanella, 28 July ‘11email to Tuesday workout group.
“Can I just have a piggy-back down this?”– Ozzie Rosenleaf, 21 June ‘11
“That warm-up was one to remember. Wow!! … Jeff, we are going to run a workout down on the flats (pointing to the HPER fields) right? … You are not going to make us run hills again are you? … I would rather run 400s than 800s today.” – Susan Kaluza, 26 April ‘11
“I don’t like the downhills in that race. I got bad blisters.” – Jeff Braun, 15 Mar ‘11
“Why do they have to leave so early to run? It’s still dark and cold then.” – Nicole Hunt, Dec ‘10
“I will try to show – if you aren’t running that forsaken hill!” – Michele Bazzanella, Nov ‘10 Facebook post
“Wind blows at us both ways.” – Gary Hoar, 10 Sept ‘10
“I hate hills.” – Mike Kallas, 31 Aug ‘10
“3+4 is 7, not 6.” – Ozzie Rosenleaf, 3 Aug ‘10 disputing doing one more hill rep than planned.
“I had the hardest relay leg. Mitch cheated on his time. Georgia and Eddi had the easiest course.” – Don Tamietti
“From up here that cattle guard looks like looking at Butte from the Lady of the Rockies.”
“I hate wolf run. It was too muddy.”
“I’m not running the race. The shirts are ugly.” – Eddi Walker
“It is so cold out here that my watch froze.” – Keri Petritz
“You guys would have waited for Eddi. But you won’t wait for me!”
“I hope someone’s going to bring me the cinnamon rolls. I’m not sure I can make it down the hill to them.”
“Where was that cloud 20 minutes ago?”
“I can’t go running. I ate too much cookie dough.” – Moe Tomich, 2000
“I got home late. I hate to mow the lawn. Whinne …… moan….” – John Tomich, 2000
“If I run that race my knees will be the size of grapefruits.” – Amber Wood-Jensen
“You can tell the person that parked the car didn’t run a marathon.” – Wulfman
“I’m tired already.” – Cheryl “The Warden” Peterslie (heading to starting line).
“I thought that was the course.”
“I may get blisters. I forgot my running socks.”
“It’s too hot! 95◦ in the shade. I’m not going to run”
“If you like running in a foot of snow, in deep ruts, you will love the Snow Joke.”
“Oh, I can’t do the hills behind Tech, but change to the church and I’ll be there.” – Ray Ueland (no show)
“I won’t run in this shit.”
“I’m too tired.”
“I’m tired. I have too much work to do.” (It was the truth)
“A drunkin no-show.”
“I’m only running the 3-mile – I’m still sore from last weekend’s run.” – John Wulf
“Johnny Wulf said ‘4 corners, only 3 roads’.” – Bruce Robinson
“This is a lot steeper than yesterday.”
“Now I wish I would have run at Pony.”
“It has to be more than a f-ing mile!” – Tammy Wisner
“A half hour ago the snow was melting.”
“I can’t make it. I’m too sick (cold) after spending the night drinking.”
“You splashed me.”
“I thought it was Tuesday.”
“Hurry up. Get me outta here before the bugs carry me out.” – Jim Lester, 12 July 1999
“Is that all you left me?”
“I left my clothes at home.” – Ray Ueland
“My clothes are in my wife’s car.” – Ray Ueland
“I’m busy. Gotta go!”
“I’m hung over.”
“It’s icy.”
“I’m still in bed.”
“Too late.”
“It’s too hot.”
“It’s long.”
“I’ve got a sore %$#&.”
“My track is locked in.”
“It’s too muddy.”
“It’s raining.”
“I didn’t hear the starting gun.”
“Oh no. I ran too fast.”
“Bruce runs away from me.” – Cheryl “The Warden” Peterslie
“Too early.”
“I think it’s going to ______.”
“It’s snowing.”
“It’s cold.”
“Doctors orders.”
“It’s getting dark.”
“My car will get dusty.”
“I’m ill.”
“I have to work.”
“Oh, a hill.”
“You didn’t show.”
“You’re early.”
“You’re late.”
“Where’s the trophy?”
“My wife said I can’t play with you guys.”
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